Increase Lung Capacity and Prevent Volume Loss As You Age

Introduction

For 20 years or more it has been known that a persons lung capacity is an indicator of longevity. The facts found in the famous "Framingham Heart Study" states that "The bigger that your lungs are the longer your life will be". It provides information about the general health of the lungs.

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A spirometer is the instrument used in the health profession to accurately measure lung capacity. The average human lungs hold about 5 liters of air. It was recently revealed that Grant Hacket, an Australian swimmer and one of the supreme athletes of world sport, has a whopping 13 liter lung capacity. It can vary with height and age, sex, weight and degree of physical activity. Females tend to have 20-25% lower capacity than males and tall people tend to have more then shorter people.

Increase Lung Capacity and Prevent Volume Loss As You Age

Unfortunately the capacity for the lungs can't be physically increased, however there are many ways to improve the efficiency of your lungs and prevent volume loss as you age.

Cardio Exercise

Regular exercise is a great way to help keep your respiratory system strong. Anyone can improve their lung capacity to a degree by exercise that tends to use the large muscles of the body in a rhythmic motion. Moving consistently increases the demand for oxygen and therefore so does the rate of breathing. This works by challenging the heart and lungs and will increase the lungs capacity for work.

Train at Higher Altitudes

Runners who are serious can train at higher altitudes before a race. Some athletes permanently live at high altitude, only returning to sea level to compete, but their training may suffer due to less available oxygen for workouts. It will be larger at higher altitudes of 2,500 m (8,000 ft) above sea level because there is less pressure from the atmosphere. At this altitude, there is only 74% as much oxygen available. The body adapts to the relative lack of oxygen by increasing the concentration of red blood cells and haemoglobin. Once they come down to sea level, they have a larger overall lung capacity for 10 to 14 days because they will still have a higher concentration of red blood cells. But be careful. If you go too high and train too hard you could develop altitude sickness because your lungs can't process enough oxygen for the body's needs.

Breathing Exercises

Simply paying attention to breathing, and practicing breathing exercises can improve lung capacity and overall well-being. Proper breathing such as that learned in yoga, will restore concentration and inner calmness when you feel stressed, angry or anxious. Breathing techniques are a powerful tool to calm your nervous system, slow your heartbeat, relieve insomnia, and lessen or even kill pain.

Pursed-Lip breathing is another technique which helps improve lung function before starting activities. It takes about 10 minutes. When first learning the technique, you should lie flat on a bed with your head on a pillow. Later, the technique can be performed while walking or enduring any activity requiring extra air. Firstly inhale through the nose, moving the abdominal muscles outward so that the diaphragm lowers and the lungs fill with air. Then exhales through the mouth with the lips pursed, making a hissing sound. The exhalation should be twice as long as the inhalation, so that pressure is experienced in the windpipe, and chest and trapped air is forced out.

Breath Holding and Coughing is another simple breathing technique. The idea is to inhale deeply and slowly, holding the breath for five to 10 seconds. Then cough gently on exhalation.

Playing Instruments

Learning how to play a wind or brass instrument such as a tuba, trumpet, trombone, clarinet, or flute will have the effect of increasing it. This works by helping you learn to control breathing and expand your lung capacity to utilize all the alveoli. Playing with correct diaphragm breathing techniques can increase it even further. Singing is also a great way to get the same results.

Diet and Supplements

Various studies have indicated that diets rich in antioxidants, such as vitamins E and C, selenium, and beta carotene, improve lung function and may provide some protection against lung damage from COPD among smokers. (In one study, such foods were protective only if they were eaten throughout the smoking years.) Foods rich in such antioxidants include dark colored fruits and vegetables (vitamin C and beta carotene), whole grains, nuts (selenium), and vegetable oils and wheat germ (vitamin E).

A French study found that filling your plate with bright, beta carotene-rich foods can help fight normal slips in lung performance. Beta carotene is the antioxidant compound that gives mangos, carrots, peppers, cantaloupe, sweet potatoes, apricots, and many other fruits and veggies their brilliant red, yellow, and orange hues. Over this 8-year study, people who had the highest blood levels of beta carotene lost the least lung function. Beta carotene is a major scavenger of certain types of free radicals that are particularly harmful to the lungs. So basically any bright red/yellow/orange foods, from salsa to squashes, can help keep your lungs young. The same study concluded that Beta carotene and vitamin E are protective even in heavy smokers.

Inflammation Descreases Lung Capacity

June 2007 - A group of New Zealand researchers at the University of Otago in Dunedin took measurements of lung capacity and inflammation in 1,000 young adults aged 26 to 32.

They measured inflammation by looking at blood levels of C-reactive protein (CRP) which is a marker of inflammation. Inflammation is also linked to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

Higher levels of CRP were found in those with smaller lung capacities. The association between higher CRP levels and lower lung function was not related to smoking, lung disease or obesity. The authors said 'To our knowledge, this is the first report of an inverse association between lung function and CRP in young adults.'

The association between poor lung function and cardiovascular disease may be somehow mediated by inflammation. Their next step is to establish whether inflammation leads to reduced lung function, or vice versa.

However other studies have already shown that foods high in antioxidants protect against loss of lung capacity. So again the evidence points to eat healthy to slow your aging.

Statins Reduce Loss of Function And Keep Old Lungs Young

Oct 2007 - Statins which are known to be good for lowering cholesterol now have another reported benefit. They appear to slow decline in lung function, even in those who smoke. According to researchers in Boston, it may be statins' anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties that help achieve this effect.

Dr. Joel Schwartz, Ph.D., professor of environmental epidemiology at Harvard School of Public Health, was the first to examine the relationships between statins and lung function decline.

The link between lung function and mortality and the reduced levels of lung function in the elderly indicates the importance of a possibility of reducing the rate of decline," wrote Dr. Schwartz.

To investigate whether statins had an effect of loss of lung function, the researchers used data from the ongoing and longitudinal Veterans Administration Normative Aging Study, which began in 1963. They analyzed 803 people who had had their lung function measured at least twice between January 1995 and June 2005. Both forced expiratory volume in one second (FEV1) and forced vital capacity (FVC) were measured. The study subjects also completed questionnaires on pulmonary disorders, smoking and medication usage.

They found that people taking statins experienced a much slower annual decline in lung function. In FEV1, statin users lost 10.9 ml on average, whereas nonusers lost an average of 23.9 ml each year-more than twice that of the statin group. Similarly, statin users lost an average of 14 ml a year in FVC, whereas nonusers lost an average of 36.2 ml.

This research suggests that statins' have an ability to reduce inflammation and smoking related injury in the lung, as well as reduce serum levels of C-reactive protein, which relates to systemic inflammation, and to protect against oxidative damage. All this translates to overall protection from losing lung volume.

Increase Lung Capacity and Prevent Volume Loss As You Age

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Discover The Many Uses Of Lemon Grass

Lemon grass is one of the useful herbs people can benefit from in a varitey of ways. What most people do not know is that lemon grass is one of the most commonly used herbs in almost every civilization.

Other names for the lemon grass are cymbopogon, lemongrass or fever grass.

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The lemon grass is a native of the Old World for it ideally grows in the warm and temperate tropics. This is basically a tall perennial grass that has 55 species at present.

Discover The Many Uses Of Lemon Grass

Here are some of the uses of the lemon grass today.

Ingredient in Dishes

The lemon grass or Cymbopogon ciatrus is known for its use in cooking, especially for most cuisines of Asian countries like Thailand and Vietnam.

Meal enthusiasts will surely appreciate the use of this tropical grass in bringing about an aromatic detail to dishes.

The flavor of the lemon grass can be achieved whether it is used fresh, dried or powdered.

The stalk is hard but it can be easily chopped finely to be added to your recipe. It can also be cooked as it is and let it release its oils for aromatic endeavors.

People can also use lemon grass in their teas, curries and soups. It can suit easily any poultry or seafood dishes.

This is especially significant for most South East Asian dishes as the flavor of the lemon grass helps balance the hot chillies that are staples in most cuisine.

Scents and Aromas

Aside from cooking, it can also be used for other purposes. In India, the lemon grass can be utilized as element in perfumes.

Most people may be familiar to citronella which is actually another popular name for lemon grass. The citronella is a common element for supporting the scents of soaps, perfumes and candles.

Citronella is also used as mosquito repellent. Even dogs are known to dislike the scent of citronella, making it an effective tool to keep away the pets in areas where they are not supposed to go.

Aromatherapeutic Use

The Palmarosa species of the lemon grass has distinct sweet-smelling oil that can be of significant use in aromatherapy. It has a calming effect that can relieve the stress and tension in the body.

One can enjoy the relaxing mood effect by the lemon grass by using it in massage or during bath.

However, caution must be taken to only use this in low dilution. This is not very advisable too to people who have high risks to skin allergy.

In some instances, the lemon grass can even be utilized as a mild depressant.

Medicinal Function

The lemon grass also has good effects to the body. It can help significantly in detoxifying the organs in the digestive system like the pancreas, kidney, bladder and liver.

This is made possible because the lemon grass aids in cutting down the cholesterol, uric acid and toxins in the system.

At the same time, this helps in stimulating digestion and blood circulation. Consequently, gastroenteritis and indigestion can be avoided.

In some countries, lemon grass is even used to minimize the pimples and acne on the face.

Conclusion

Lemon grass may sound and look very ordinary to you but there are many wonders you can get from this plant. So get to know lemon grass better and it may just be the answer to one of your needs today.

Discover The Many Uses Of Lemon Grass

Lee Dobbins writes for http://grasses.garden-g8way.com where you can learn more about all different types of grasses including more uses for lemon grass.

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Five Simple And Cheap Ways To Detox Your Body Naturally

Yes, it's now time to give some attention to your beautiful and very clever body. Without any added stresses such as fatty foods, bad diets, excess sugar, chemicals, toxins, environmental pollution and your own "mental miss use" such as stress (which is highly toxic as it releases free radicals which accelerates aging) your body could quite efficiently detox itself via the skin (your largest organ) along with other key organs and circulatory systems.

However in the world we live today our bodies need all the extra support they can get for the efficient removal of harmful toxins.

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Rather than give you an extensive list which can be overwhelming I felt it best to highlight five potent habits which are simple yet highly effective in detoxing your body naturally. Firstly, I'm keen to share my personal favourite.

Five Simple And Cheap Ways To Detox Your Body Naturally

Body brushing rocks:

I'm in love with body brushing and have been for years. It was when visiting my iridologist years ago he detected that my skin was not breathing at all. Even though my skin look perfectly fine to me, dead skin cells were invisibly lying on its surface blocking the elimination of toxins. This then put more pressure on my internal organs. Way back then the concept of my skin breathing was a total life changing awakening for me.

I immediately began giving full attention not just to my face and hands but to my entire skin covering my body. It soon started to breathe and detox with joy. The most obvious difference personally was increased energy levels.

Both sweating through the skins pores and dry or wet body scrubbing are fabulous ways for the skin to assist the body in detoxing naturally.

Five simple ways to detox your body naturally:

1. Dry body brushing:

It's easy, takes no more than five minutes before you shower and anyone can do it. Buy a brush mit or body brush (long brush is good so you can reach all the tricky places) from any health food store and give your entire body the attention, cleansing and stimulation it deserves.

Before you get into the shower or bath start by scrubbing the skin with gentle circular motions. This supports:

* removing dead skin cells

* unblocking pores

* stimulation of your lympathic system (very important)

* helps your skin breathe which in turn can oxygenate the body

In addition to a gentle circular motion you can vigorously scrub the skin which helps with cellulite and the removal of toxins at a deeper level.

2. Drinks lots of water:

Yes, I know boring, tricky for me to do in Winter but quite easy to manage in Summer when I tend to be thirster more often.

Drink as much fresh water as you can. Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp. Foggy thinking sets in when you are dehydrated.

Soft drinks, teas and coffees are not a substitute for water.

To make sure I remind myself to have lots of water during the day I have three glass water bottles. One beside my bed, one I take in the car and the other one beside the computer. I often leave one beside my handbag simply to remind me to take it with me when I'm going out. Even if I'm only going out for five minutes I'll still take it with me to keep the momentum flowing.

3. Focus on your breath:

The majority of people walking around this planet today have forgotten to breathe. Breathing can quickly make your thinking excited or calm, tense or relaxed, gentle and clear. Deep, slow and conscious breathing is the key to oxygenating your lungs, bloodstream, heart and whole brain.

Correct breathing (slow and deep) supports the removal of an enormous amount of carbon dioxide from your lungs and toxic gases from your body. It's also useful to imagine all stress, worries and laziness being released from your body as you exhale.

Opportunities to focus on your breathe throughout your day:

1. Before you get out of bed

2. Before you drive off in your car

3. Whilst sitting at your computer periodically during the day

4. Before you begin cooking

4. Sweat once a day:

Sweating regenerates your skin and helps detox the body. Living in a humid climate as I do in Queensland, Australia doesn't require much effort in getting the body to sweat. Couple this with drinking lots of water and you are well on the way to simply detoxifying your body. A sauna is another easy way to sweat with minimal effort on your part.

However exercise until you sweat is the ultimate way to detox the body as there are many many benefits with the physical work out as well.

Bikram yoga which I must admit to have not yet tried but have many friends that do is another option for allowing the body to sweat naturally. A bikram yoga class room is heated to 37 degrees (around the same temperature as our bodies temperature) and gives you the cleansing and detoxing benefits of a sauna along with the cleansing and detoxing benefits of certain yoga poses.

Here is a short youtube video on Bikram yoga in action.

5. Stretch:

Stretching improves blood circulation and releases toxins from your body. It is through my yoga practice, particularly the body twists which gently encourage the internal organs to release toxins. If you have never done yoga before I highly recommend it.

If getting to a yoga, tai chi, dance or stretch class is difficult there are lots of fabulous DVD's that you can buy for use in your own home or search you tube to learn more about stretching sequences you can do in your own home.

Thanks for reading my article.

Peace, love and lots of healthy bodies to you all, Carole.

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Five Simple And Cheap Ways To Detox Your Body Naturally

Carole is a freelance writer and facilitator of a Womens rejuvenation retreats in Bali.

Her blog The Healthy Living Lounge offers regular doses of inspiration, comfort and wisdom for your body, mind and soul.

http://www.thehealthylivinglounge.com

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How to Treat an Allergy-Triggered Cough

It's springtime; the trees are budding, the flowers are blooming...and you're stuck inside, coughing and sneezing and hiding from the substances that trigger your allergic reactions. Having a cough or cold is bad at any times - having cold-type symptoms every year at the same times is even worse. There are various ways to treat an allergy cough and help you get back to enjoying life outdoors.

There are various substances that can cause an allergy-triggered cough. The most obvious one is pollen, which plagues thousands of people across the country. Others include animal dandruff, dust, and mold. Before you run out and buy a cough suppressant so that you can have a rest from coughing, it's good to remember that coughing is your body's way of clearing the respiratory tract and lungs. It may not be in the best interest of your health to stop the cough immediately. There are packaged drinks that can be bought at a drug store that contain calming ingredients like honey or chamomile which can help to control your cough without suppressing it altogether.

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If you have been suffering from a cough for over a week, and you believe it is allergy-related, it is best to make an appointment with your doctor. The doctor can diagnose what is causing your cough, and can also prescribe what would be the best treatment. He or she can choose from a variety of products that are already available, or can write you a prescription. Your doctor may advise that you take a cough syrup that helps to calm the throat but also allows you to continue coughing to clear your lungs.

How to Treat an Allergy-Triggered Cough

Once you have been diagnosed with an allergy, you now have a weapon you can use against the substances that cause your allergic reaction - knowledge. If you know what triggers a reaction, you can avoid it, or, in the case of an allergen like pollen, you can take allergy medication before stepping outside. Especially when you have a cough, one of the best steps you can take is to rest. If you have to work, take a nap when you come home. Give your body not only the medication, but the time it needs to recover and get you feeling healthy again.

How to Treat an Allergy-Triggered Cough

Learn more about allergic cough treatments at http://www.asthma-allergies.org/allergies/

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Handling Difficult Behavior in 8-9 Year Old Children

Your 8-9 year old child is at an age where they begin to feel a strong urge to belong. Along with the need to belong, your child may be more inclined to give in to peer pressure. Now that your 8-9 year old has the ability to converse at a higher level, it's important to listen to your child's concerns about school and friends with love and understanding. While listening to their sometimes never ending descriptions you may stumble across an opportunity to teach through example. In these cases, praise for appropriate reactions or suggestions on how to handle things differently, allows for a casual teaching opportunity.

Emotions can change quickly with your 8-9 year old. Never react to your child's tantrums with a tantrum of your own. Instead, stay calm and exert your authority as a parent by giving age appropriate discipline. Verbal instruction and an explanation of consequences can help your child develop a sense of good judgment. At this age money starts to mean more to a child so withholding allowance or making your child work to pay off an offense can deter difficult behavior.

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This is a stage where your child should be able start getting better control of his or her emotions. However, your 8-9 year old will still be prone to bouts of sensitivity and over dramatization. It's important to give consistent correction for tantrums at every stage, and your 8-9 year old is no exception. If given the chance to get their way with tantrums, you are laying the foundation for even greater rebellion in the future.

Handling Difficult Behavior in 8-9 Year Old Children

Handling Difficult Behavior in 8-9 Year Old Children

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards? To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: Free Audio Recordings

Jason Johnson (MSW) has worked with hundreds of toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, Bi-polar, and SEVERE emotional/behavioral issues.

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To Improve Your Parenting Skills-Learn The Law Of The Soggy Potato Chip

Experienced parents know that exercising good parenting skills can be very confusing. You have a good relationship with your teen, you treat them with respect, and listen to them when they speak. How do they react; by snapping back at you and being arrogant! It seems that they are trying (and almost succeeding) to sabotage a great relationship and you don't know what you are doing wrong.

Sounds familiar? If you want to stay calm, undaunted and continue to love your child become familiar with and learn "The Law of the Soggy Potato Chip".

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Psychologist Fitzhugh Dodson wrote in How to Discipline With Love (1977) that children would rather have negative attention than no attention at all, just as children would rather have a soggy potato chip than no potato chip at all. Simply put, the "Law of the Soggy Potato Chip" states that, when there is no choice, the second best is also good.

To Improve Your Parenting Skills-Learn The Law Of The Soggy Potato Chip

Jay McGraw in Life Strategies for Teens speaks of an extreme case of this with his friend who was popular and whose parents were very busy in their respective careers. He was once caught at a party where there were drugs and his parents sent him to rehab. He wasn't a heavy user at all, but his parents wanted to be on the safe side. While he was there his parents visited him every day and when he finally came out he looked great. Life returned back to the norm, his parents returned to their work, ... and he was back in rehab. He was settling for a potato chip (his parents attention)that was soggy (going through the pains of drug abuse and rehab)! This repeated itself a few times until the drugs got the best of him and a little while later he became a statistic.

This "law" doesn't only apply to the crave for attention but for everything that we really want. For instance, on the one hand your teen (pre-teen) really wants a relationship with you and they truly enjoy your company. However they also want to feel independent, the way that they perceive adulthood. Therefore when they feel that you are too close, they forfeit the relationship (the crispiness) in order to feel independent (the potato chip). They would like both of them, but since the feeling of independence is more important to them right now they settle for second best; independence without the relationship.

What should you do? Realize that their reaction is showing the whole picture and keep up treating them with respect and listening to them. You'll see than eventually, after they are more sure with their identity, they will show their love towards you in a more positive way.

To Improve Your Parenting Skills-Learn The Law Of The Soggy Potato Chip

Shevach Pepper is the happy father of 12 children. He is a family/parent/life coach helping successful people to utilize their professional skills in their personal life. For free tips on family matters and solid parenting advice visit [http://www.greatfamilyman.com]

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What to Do If You Feel Like a Guilty Parent

What a day! Everything that could go wrong did. By dinner time, Marla felt ready to explode at the smallest provocation - which her six-year-old son unwittingly provided when he spilled his milk. Before she knew it, a hurtful string of words had slipped out of her mouth. "What's the matter with you Jason, you're always so careless! Now look at the mess you made!" Marla could hardly believe she'd said that to her son. A wave of guilt swept over her as tears began rolling down his cheeks.

Sound familiar? Every parent has knee-jerk reactions to milk spills and the thousand daily irritations that come with having kids. And every parent says or does things in anger or frustration that he or she quickly regrets. It's natural to feel guilty when we belittle our kids or yell at them unfairly. But this is one of the few varieties of guilt that can be productive, if we use it to react differently the next time. (And there's always a next time, often sooner than you'd like.)

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Let's rewind the tape and see how Marla could learn from her mistake. For example, she could, say to herself, "I really need a cool-down period after miserable days like this one. So I'm going to take at least five minutes for a time out for myself without interruptions from anybody." That would be a positive way for Marla to avoid hurtful outbursts that come from fatigue or stress.

What to Do If You Feel Like a Guilty Parent

Whereas productive guilt can help us change for the better, non-productive guilt stems from situations that are beyond our control. For example, if you must work, so you have to put your child in day care. You have an only child,and you can't have any more, yet you feel guilty because you're afraid your child will be lonely. Or you get stuck in a horrendous traffic jam and can't get your son or daughter to a play date. Unfortunately, most of us experience useless guilt more often, which makes us feel discouraged and saps our energy.

So how do we transform non-productive guilt into a learning experience? The first step is to understand what causes it.

It's All Around You
Most guilt arises from the reactions and opinions - real or perceived - of other people. Consider the case of one of my workshop parents, Barbara, who participated in an informal weekly playgroup with several other mothers and kids in her neighborhood. Barbara's two-year-old daughter, Jackie, had the most difficulty sharing and was more prone to tantrums than her peers. During one session, when Jackie tussled with another child over a toy car and then launched into an ear-splitting tantrum, Barbara noticed two other mothers look at each other as if to say, "There she goes again."

Barbara told us that she was thinking about quitting the playgroup. She sensed the negative judgments of the other mothers and felt especially guilty because her overly-demanding child made her feel like a failure. When she brought this up in of my workshop, the moms reassured her that their kids often embarrassed them in public, and that such scenes were an inevitable part of raising a spirited toddler.

Barbara and the others then began to talk about how guilt seems to be a universal part of parenting. Where does all this guilt come from, they asked. "From others, and sometimes ourselves," I told them. Let's take a look at the most common ways in which we let other people - friends, relatives, strangers, and even our kids -- pin the guilty label on us.

Six Sources of Guilt...and Six Guilt Busters

1. Parenting as a Competitive Sport. It's hard for some of us to accept ourselves as "good enough parents," especially when we tend to compare ourselves. We've all heard phrases like: "She's always so calm and NEVER loses her cool." ... "She ALWAYS seems to know exactly what to do." ... "Her son NEVER has temper tantrums." ... "His daughter is ALWAYS so well-behaved at family gatherings." These kinds of competitive statements make us feel guilty for believing we're the only ones who can't manage our children.

But only in the movies or on TV shows do people NEVER lose their cool, or do children behave like cute and appealing puppets. In the real world, no parent remains calm and collected ALL the time. And no child ALWAYS behaves as a perfect little being. Yet it's common for parents to feel as if they're failures when their kids act out or when they "lose it" themselves.

Guilt Buster: When people tell me that they find it easy to manage their kids or rarely get angry at their "little angels," I simply don't believe them. When parents in my workshops speak of friends who make such claims, I simply tell them, "They lie!" Remember, the only real standards for measuring parental self-worth are the ones that you create for yourself. So give yourself permission to make mistakes, and accept the fact that you're always learning on the job.

2. Replaying Old Scripts. Even before our children are born, many of us are convinced that we're going to be exceptional parents and not make the mistakes made by our own mothers and fathers. But then reality hits and we discover that we're either just like them or we've gone to the other extreme.

A perfect example is my friend Elise, who once lamented, "My mother was highly critical, so when I had my own children, I vowed that I certainly wasn't going to follow in Mom's footsteps. But guess what? That's exactly what I do. I constantly criticize my kids and then feel terrible about it. Whenever they're giving me a hard time, my mother's words just tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them."

Guilt Buster: Join the club, Elise; learned behaviors are extremely difficult to unlearn. After all, our first teachers (our parents) were our most powerful role models, so it's only natural to continue their lessons throughout our adult lives, too. It takes real effort and self-determination to create new scripts - your own - for handling the many situations you encounter every day. So go easy on yourself; give yourself credit each time you don't blurt out negative remarks that your parents might have said to you.

3. Neglecting Your Own Needs. Let's face it: being a parent requires a lot of time and sacrifice. That means you may feel conflicted when you take care of yourself. For instance, Jane really benefits from her daily workout. But sometimes she has difficulty allowing herself to go to the gym. Even though she has a great babysitter, her kids begin protesting as soon as they see her putting on her running shoes. Too often, she caves in and skips her workout because she feels guilty.

Guilt Buster: Surprising as it may sound, the parent who's always making sacrifices at the expense of her own needs isn't doing her children any favors. When Jane works out, she comes back feeling energized and more patient. The key for her is to remember that her kids aren't about to say, "Go ahead Mommy, we know this is good for you." Jane can't expect her children to give her permission to exercise, so she needs to give it to herself without guilt or ambivalence.

4. Getting Caught up in the "I Should Have Known..." Syndrome. Sometimes parents blame themselves unnecessarily for their lack of knowledge. For example, one father I know, Dave, related an incident that took place seven years ago. He recalls how his then five-year-old son woke up one Sunday morning coughing and feeling sick. Dave administered over-the-counter cough syrup and went about his weekend chores, while his son sat curled up in a chair. Over the course of the day, Dave got more and more frustrated with his son's complaining and told him that it's "just a little cough," and if he got up and did something fun, he'd feel better. Finally, towards dinner time, he realized that his son was in serious respiratory distress and rushed him to the hospital. The diagnosis was asthma. "He could have died," the distraught man relayed. "I thought I was pretty knowledgeable -- how could I have missed the signs of an asthma attack?"

Guilt Buster: While being consumed with guilt, Dave forgot an essential fact: he's an advertising executive, not a doctor. Sure, we're far better informed than any generation of parents before us. But that doesn't mean we should blame ourselves for not knowing everything. The key is to use your mistakes as learning opportunities.

5. Catching Other People's Barbs. This is the most damaging of all guilt sources, and it often comes from people who care about you, such as family members and friends. A friend might express subtle disapproval of your child's eating preferences -- "My son just loves vegetables." Or when you pick up your crying baby, your mother might say, "Aren't you being a little overprotective?"

Strangers, too, may feel compelled to give you advice or critique your parenting style. These days it's not uncommon to hear phrases like, "How can you let him go out without a hat?"... "Isn't he a bit old to be sucking his thumb?" ... Or even, "Maybe what she needs is a good swat!"

Consider the case of Lynn, a mother of an active preschooler. Lynn had gone to the store to buy some cleanser so she could clean up the walls that her son had decorated with crayons and markers. She described the following conversation.

"So, how old is your kid?" the young clerk asked as he packaged Lynn's groceries and listened to her wall-cleaning woes.

"Three-and-a-half," Lynn replied.

"Really?" the clerk blurted out in amazement. "Writing on the walls at three? Sounds like you let him get away with murder."

Lynn had walked into the store feeling somewhat amused - at least the drawings on the wall were colorful and creative - and left feeling wounded by the clerk's gratuitous and insensitive remark.

Guilt Buster: At the time of the incident, Lynn thought she had two choices: either absorb the barb and feel bad, or lash back to defend herself or challenge the clerk's remark. Better yet to accept the fact that this outsider was just making an uninformed assumption, without knowing anything about Lynn or her child. She could then have ignored the comment or realized the clerk knew nothing about how many kids behave."

6. Accepting the "Bad Mommy" Label. It's so easy to allow our children to judge our worthiness as parents when they make statements like: "You're mean." ... "You don't love me." ... "It's not fair." "Daddy's nicer." These are the remarks that try parent's souls - though spoken from the mouths of babes, we nonetheless feel hurt, and often guilty, when we hear them. That guilt often leads to three extra rounds of a board game or giving in to requests for more cookies than we had originally agreed to. The "bad mommy" label is a tough one to accept.

Guilt Buster. Children can't possibly judge our parenting worth objectively, and we can't empower them to do so. Phrases like, "you're mean, why can't I have just one more ice cream cone?" can be gently but firmly answered with "I know you'd like to have another ice cream cone. But my limit is one." Above all, try not to get defensive - this isn't about you or your loveability. It's about setting limits and showing your child that you said "no" because you're actually quite a good mommy!

One Step Back, Two Steps Forward
Whenever you experience guilt, stop and ask yourself whether it's of the useless or useful variety. Then, if it is productive guilt, give yourself a break by resolving to learn from the experience and respond differently the next time. Most important, work at wiping useless guilt out of your life. You won't be guilt-free. But you will be guilt-savvy and ready for the next situation that puts your parenting mettle to the test.

What to Do If You Feel Like a Guilty Parent

Nancy Samalin, M.S., is one of today's foremost experts on parenting and a best-selling author of several books including LOVING YOUR CHILD IS NOT ENOUGH. Her fourth and newest book, LOVING WITHOUT SPOILING & 100 Other Timeless Tips for Raising Terrific Kids, is now available in paperback.

For more than two decades Nancy has been giving keynote speeches and workshops throughout the U.S. and internationally. She has appeared on many national TV & radio shows including, "The Today Show", "20/20", "Good Morning America" “NPR” and "Dateline NBC". Further information on Nancy's work and books is available at http://www.samalin.com.

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